Michael does not want to partner and I understand that he just wants to feed off the creative momentum and process in the project. It's too early still it seems to find a creative partner but it does put pressure on me to keep up the pace. He has offered to help me in his free time at work so I could leverage that. Why are creatives so complicated? I do understand the need for creatives to work on their own project and to help each other out till they have the momentum and creative confidence to break out on their own, but it is frustrating.
Maybe some partnerships / requests for partnership are better expressed through feeling or a mix of practical requirements + gut feeling?
I have to find the strength every morning I take a rejection to carry on with the task I set myself the night before, rather automatically till enthusiasm picks up shortly after.
I still get frustrated picturing Schnucki being undecided, distratcted and not wanting to help with the Children's Philosophy part of the first installation at the kindergarten, but I'll try to express my desires as feelings of needing to focus and to ask her to trust my gut feeling. The Way of the Superior Man expresses this very feminine side of her clearly at 1:40:00. I can also accept that her feminine force can not be tempered if it will disrupt my productive flow nad happiness, meaning I'd have to offer the opportunity to someone else for a while. It's funny how the Ying and Yang can be in harmony and yet frustrate each other at the same time.
I said to Khine:
It's funny how the Ying and Yang coexist in harmony but the polar opposites of feminine and masculine nature makes us frustrated with each other.
This quick sketch doesn't quite express that frustration. It's too vague. Maybe I should map out the specific frustration points and go more wild.
- The diary helps me reflect on a new teach in writing and the sketch offers new insights on a deeper level. The text and the sketch form their own Ying and Yang in this reflective and learning process. The sketch provides release when I can reflect on it and have an epiphany or deeper insight. This time the deeper insight and idea was that I would gain more value if I moved away from only reproducing a Ying and Yang I've seen in the media that's slightly agitated, because tat is vague and doesn't express my exact points of frustration I want to overcome by understanding them. So I should instead sketch out more wildly / expressively the exact frustration points. In doing so it might reveal further insight and reflection to make me more at ease rather than bottling up my frustration. It's ana amazing gift to be able to sketch and express it visually, to trust the hand and intuition and then sit back to see what the creative effort reveals as a lesson.
- Listen to The Way of the Superior Man
- Love Diary
- Visual diary: write + sketch
- New: practice Mindful app at breakfast.