I cleaned up our office, as if building the army barracks ready for a full creative assault. It's a new chapter in creativity and I am as good as rid of the ghosts of the 2014 trip except. (I'm only stressed by planes flying overhead and feel hurt & sorrow seeing photos of my beautiful Schnucki doing batching. I'm so grateful she saved us and found us work. That was her strength I didn't have.)
I found a photo from Mark & Cathy in Montana I will post on the wall as a daily reminder of the creative I am, that we were destined to do the trip and as a reminder of my goal to meet them again.
It occurred to me that pioneering is my dream. So even if I do pioneer something and achieve that dream, I will forever try to pioneer the next thing, thereby keeping the dream elusive.
That means that our core values are our dreams. I wonder if they are also closely tied to our frustrations or are in fact the source of our frustration when we don't stick to them.
For example, I became aggressively opposed to Avi leading the project(of designing an interactive play space for a preschool at Fox Studios) because he was a beginner. With him as a leader I would not get to pioneer, and I hate working with beginners who don't know what they are doing, arguing over fundamental things I already know and choking my potential to create and grow. It was clear to me they just wanted me to realise their dreams / goals and luckily they wanted me to work for free up to the compeltion of the design phase, which I rejected. My frustration boiled over almost into anger, and lead me back even stronger onto my path of 22 x 22. I finished destroying my prototype and cleaned up our study ready for lots of creative action and further confidence building.
I literally fight for my core value of pioneering. I display it by aggressively arguing against the insipid conditions and not being able to lead the project down a pioneering path. This aggressive repulsion from a project is a side of me I don't like and it is another reason to avoid insipid projects.
Now it makes sense how steering away from your core values is the frustration. So if the interviewee knows their frustration well, it can be an insight to their core values and their dream. In addition, using their driver and the frustration can be a neat way to triangulate towards finding out the core value and dream.
Why pioneering works as my dream is partly because I don't get to see the fruits of my labour for a very long time, but along the way I still keep consuming and creating and learning about myself and my dream (why it is I want to pioner and how I can do it).
This week I learned the term "path-breaking" from the founder of Intel.
Pioneering to me means to invent and commercialise successfully. My groundbreaking designs need a way to be commercialised that is as unique to me as it is to the act of pioneering. So the commercialisation methods I find will be path-breaking. Marti is helping me find those, such as the 22x22.
Interestingly, I lost my confidence, being attracted to the money in Avi's project. Money is artificial because it is something that provides no intrinsic and sustainable happiness and confidence. And money came from his project, not action that I took. So the money did not act as a reward for my pioneering work (or anything I had achieved with my bare hands) or along with any other reward mechanisms that resulted from me applying my core values, like increased confidence and a like minded network. The (lure of) money just arrived on the scene along with the client, disconnected from my core value. Avi and Arthur were also not the right network for me, and I felt them being freeloaders since the first time Avi mentioned the idea of collaborating in December. The were never there to help me when Schnucki and I needed them most either. Trying to consult took my focus and belief off my pioneerign path by taking it off my project. It's like consulting is not believing in myself. But i'm done withlearning from consulting. I know what I'm doing with my talent as Douglas McManus said "Krister! For god sake do something with your talent!" It makes more sense now what he said, after seeing some kids in the preschool who had major talents I wished I could have released and seen fostered, but was helpes to do so in the current system of preschooling they were in.
I need to remove the idea that i consult. I will stop offering consultation. I need to be even more focused and just work on my things.
If Pioneering is my dream, I also know why I only focus on one core value and not the others. The others are just implied, and naturally become part of my act of pioneering anyway.
Dreams are also Heideggers' "the next"
- Pioneering is my dream. I will forever pioneer the next and the next thing thereby keeping the dream elusive.
- Sticking to the core values is a source of happiness and builds confidence.
- Sticking to the core values is the fastest way to create ("the next") and grow.
- Core values are the source of frustration when you deviate from them. Deviating causes loss of confidence and unhappiness because you are (and how you can implement your core value more effectively) not expanding your understanding who you are by working on "the next".
- I literally fight for my core value of pioneering. So don't get involved in insipid, backward looking projects.
- I do not consult.
- Money that comes from my own project is a character building reward because it is associated with and a direct result of my pioneering effort.
- Money that comes from consulting projects or other areas unrelated my core investment of time (in my pioneering project) is an artificial and unsustainable source of happiness and confidence. It will undermine confidence because it takes me away from the project that strengthens my identity and understanding how I can pioneer more effectively. Avoid other people's money for work and stick to the pioneering project.
- Money from other people's projects undermines confidence. If not at all, then at the very least when I don't get to pioneer (lead the pioneering effort) and the team does not have a pioneering mentality.
- If an interviewee knows their frustrations and driver well, then they can be used to triangulate the discovery of their core values and dreams.
- Pioneering requires groundbreaking ideas + path-breaking commercialisation methods.