Looking at types of Performing Arts in Wikipedia, lead me to Stagecraft and then Projection Designer.
I also discovered Technical Rehearsal and Technical Week, which relates to the project management of Stagecraft where the scene is tested before the characters are brought into the set.
Stagecraft is a highly technical and diverse and is primarily the practical implementation of a designer's artistic vision.
Projection design feels like a great fit - a far cry from the pedestrian work of UX. It also has a different way of working that mirrors art more and I find my way a little easier and more naturally in developing those projects.
I realise that not only am I not meant to go down that path of being a UX designer (or service designer) but that I'm completely meant to be working with the highly creative performing arts. Survival fears lead me towards the pedestrian jobs but there was no way I could sell myself to take those jobs. I don't want to fill my life with that.
I also realise I should have explored job hunting within the Performing Arts and Exhibitions anyway, and not been so focused on the big salaries. I would have been happier and gained the money to achieve my goals, maybe more or less money, but definitely learned about business as it relates to my natural way as a designer to do business, the fastest.
So now I also know who to contact. There is a list of masters degrees that appeared in Video and Projection Design sound the world. The people I talk to probably will be sources if creative inspiration far beyond the Wikipedia and google image search of types of performing arts I can get kids to do to elicit improv role play. Now I'm starting to find my home crowd.
1. The more I do my own projects the more I find my home crowd. [That's because I'm spending more time actively exploring my abilities and developing a stronger sense of them and then attracting likeminded people through creative expression.]
2. Chasing jobs shuts me down from being myself, as evidenced by me not writing in my diary (because I can't be myself and have anything real to reflect on).
Another crazy "found object" randomly left in the same place. I wonder what to call these things I shoot.